Friday, July 10, 2015

You find the most interesting things when you are moving

I am cleaning and packing this month in preparation to move apartments. When moving my philosophy is always "Why move it if you don't need it." I'm not a pack rat by any stretch of the imagination but I am always fascinated by the things I discover I have held onto. In the pile of notes and letters I was going thru earlier this week I found the list of things. . 

If I remember correctly I wrote this particular list after a therapy session where I was trying to articulate what I felt was missing in my house growing up and what I was hoping for when I had my own family.

  • Daily activities together - outdoor and indoor
  • Dinner together all week nights
  • Atmosphere of openness - free to say what you are thinking and feeling
  • Feelings of security, stability and safety
  • Unconditional love - no need for perfection or fear of not being love. Kids are encouraged to be themselves and are not reflections of us. They are people in their own right. 
  • Displays of affection are commonplace- hugs, kisses, pats, cuddles happen every day
  • Kinds words are heard often
  • Encouragement and praise is given openly
  • We are all encouraged to find things we enjoy and supported in those pursuits
  • Organized and clean but not OCD and rigid
  • Lots of laughter and smiles
  • Family traditions developed
  • The kids always come first and are the single most important thing
  • Truly enjoy spending time together - each other's favorite person
  • Financial security!!! - College funds, Savings accounts, back up plans
  • Introduce kids to many cultures, foods and ways of thinking
  • Avoid voicing negatives about each other but own our faults and mistakes
I want to feel special and be embraced for who I am and the unique things only I can bring into a relationship. I want to be valued for my heart and humor more than my abilities. I want to matter.