I am cleaning and packing this month in preparation to move apartments. When moving my philosophy is always "Why move it if you don't need it." I'm not a pack rat by any stretch of the imagination but I am always fascinated by the things I discover I have held onto. In the pile of notes and letters I was going thru earlier this week I found the list of things. .
If I remember correctly I wrote this particular list after a therapy session where I was trying to articulate what I felt was missing in my house growing up and what I was hoping for when I had my own family.
- Daily activities together - outdoor and indoor
- Dinner together all week nights
- Atmosphere of openness - free to say what you are thinking and feeling
- Feelings of security, stability and safety
- Unconditional love - no need for perfection or fear of not being love. Kids are encouraged to be themselves and are not reflections of us. They are people in their own right.
- Displays of affection are commonplace- hugs, kisses, pats, cuddles happen every day
- Kinds words are heard often
- Encouragement and praise is given openly
- We are all encouraged to find things we enjoy and supported in those pursuits
- Organized and clean but not OCD and rigid
- Lots of laughter and smiles
- Family traditions developed
- The kids always come first and are the single most important thing
- Truly enjoy spending time together - each other's favorite person
- Financial security!!! - College funds, Savings accounts, back up plans
- Introduce kids to many cultures, foods and ways of thinking
- Avoid voicing negatives about each other but own our faults and mistakes
You are loved, you are kind you are thoughtful, you are smart, you are important. You matter. Period
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