Happy Memorial Day! Just a few days late…

 I love Memorial Day. Growing up it signaled the beginning of summer, the final countdown to summer break and my birthday. As a kid there was nothing better than my birthday. My mom always made it special. Our birthday was the one day of the year that was all about us. No chores, no sharing,  we had our favorite dinner, got to sit up front in the car and some years I even got breakfast in bed.  The day was all about me, once year, just me.  Being the second of five children this truly was a treat. Any other day there was negotiating for first place, arguing over whether or not I should let me sister borrow my sweater, dishes to be done. Every other day of the year there was the lingering feeling that I faded into the hodge podge of my loud and slightly crazy family. Only on my birthday did I really feel special. It was AMAZING! For my 18^th birthday my family even attempted to throw me a surprise party.  Too bad I was over an hour late getting home and everyone was tired of waiting for me. Shrug.

Once I hit adulthood my birthdays became more and more disappointing. It’s hard to get excited about when you are so busy adulting.  Apparently when you are an adult you still have to go to work and you still have to do your chores and share your toys, no matter what day it is. BLAH! Every year I would hit this depression of sorts when I start to think about my birthday. I could pretty much count on having a breakdown around April/May every year, questioning where I was at in life and if I was anywhere near accomplishing my goals.  By the time my birthday came around I would decide to cancel it.  In fact one year, I told my friends that if I saw a candle or heard the words Happy Birthday they would be escorted from my home (actually, I said I would kick their ass).

Heading into my 40^th birthday I decided that I was going to plan my dream party, a John Hughes themed bash where everyone was required to come dressed as their favorite character from one of his many many films. My wonderful friend Steph hosted it in her backyard. The decorations were wonderful. The music was perfect. My brother, sisters, oldest niece and best friend flew in for 4 days of fun. We spent hours picking music, planning our costumes and all kinds of hilarity. We took the theme VERY seriously (see pics).  I will never forget the look on my neighbors faces when we all piled into an Uber SUV in our costumes. But I think the best part of the night was going thru the In N Out drive thru at 1:00am with our Uber driver placing 7 different orders. It was a night I will never forget and I’m thinking that is the year I turned this whole birthday blues thing around.  

Starting from the left is Caroline and Samantha from SIXTEEN CANDLES, 

Iona from PRETTY IN PINK and Jack from MR. MOM.

 I was dressed as Watts from SOME KIND OF WONDERFUL (in case you can't tell).

I’m turning 42 this year and am pretty excited about where I am at this point in my life. I have great friends, an AMAZING job, my family is all healthy and happy and best of all I have JB. Who knows, this could be the best birthday yet.

PS… this was not in any way a reminder to my peeps that my birthday is coming up. Seriously, just what I was thinking about this week.

3 Life Lessons from a 3 Year Old

My godson turns 3 today. He is one of the funniest, smartest, most interesting kids I know. It has been an honor and a joy to be a part of his life and it happened almost by accident. I was out walking Snoopy late one night when I ran into the fabulous Miss S who was also walking her dog, well her boyfriend’s dog. We started chatting and the next thing I knew she and teeny tiny J Man were a part of my life and my heart. I have learned so much from the two of them and I thought I would share just a few of those lessons. 

Be kind to yourself.

I am my own worst critic and when things do not go the way I plan I have zero patience for myself. When I first met Miss S and J Man I was working from home and had up to 10 different projects going at a time. Every so often I would run into a snag or forget something like my keys, or to mail a check. My fall back in those moments was, “Sheesh, I’m losing my mind. Get it together Cas!” After hearing me say this more times than she cared to, Miss S pointed out to me that I was being too hard on myself. What really hit home was when she said, “What would you do if J Man said that about himself? Is this a habit you want him to learn from you?” Bam! That one hit me right between the eyes. From that day on I worked to change my response when I mess up and to try to remember to treat myself with the same kindness I try to show to others.

Remember to laugh as much as possible

J Man loves to laugh and have fun but more than that he loves to make other people laugh. He developed a sense of humor pretty early on and understands the power of laughter. We have sword fights with uncooked spaghetti noodles, build block towers and knock them over, and have tickle fests until we almost pee our pants. During some of the hardest days of my life he has made me laugh until the pain was bearable and reminded me that there is joy even in the hardest moments. 

Embrace the silliness of life

There is nothing like a child to remind you that being silly is awesome. J Man recently decided that a pair of toy binoculars looked like a camera and proceeded to make us all pose for picture after picture, “Say cheese ever’body”.  In his world toy dinosaurs really do roar, fire engines scream, Snoopy’s tail doubles as a block to make his train whistle, and crayons can be counted and stacked for hours on end when learning numbers and colors. In J’s world, even the most mundane object has the potential for fun. This has translated to my work life where I do my best to see the silly and absurd in the most frustrating situations. And when this doesn’t work I just spin around in my chair which is oddly therapeutic. 

Happy Birthday My Little Man. I love you with all my heart. Thank you so much for the gift that you are and for bringing your Mommy into my life. You are my family.